Seeking...

last night record, Perth temperature reach 39degC.
extremely hot! but my mood is grey and down...

i tried to figure out what the problem is with me, because of the pill to cause emo swing? single income? bad news from uncle recent body check? (listing... listing...) i found i actually can list down alot, much more than i tot... yes, -ve energy is just tight me up to being depress recently.
and the -ve energy just affecting each other to being isolated from outside world.

well, just wish to vent off abite before explode.

after 2 weeks taking care of patient, i understand the tireness of taking care someone, especially if there is no recovering sympthom...
the kind of tire is come from physical but more from mental.
you know the hope is just tiny and seems far, even so, u still need to work really hard to sustain that little hope. and the scare of dunno when is just following you.
I believe that is more suffering than patient, especially a stubborn patient.

another side of my brain is telling me another truth.

yes, is has been a year past since we knew it. When Dr telling us the count down should be in month unit...
Don't we shall appreaciate this and take everyday from nowon as a bonus?
Ha, i found mysef is so naive so say so...
Even u survive, what is the meaning if 90% of ur fun has been taken away?
Feeling dizzy and vomit sitting in car more than 10min, driving?? hardly concentrate,,, that's y accident happened. and everyone start being so worry.
cant eat outside food... cant travel...once fainted, you donno whether u could still wake up... and when this will end.

i dunno how to convince him to go back more often...
i am not sure whether he is trying to avoid facing it..
and how to help...